Fatherhood. It’s a beautiful, messy, and often overwhelming experience for anyone. But for neurodivergent dads like myself, add a cocktail of anxiety, ADHD, depression, among others, and the journey can feel like navigating a constantly shifting minefield. Indeed, even before my children were born, I questioned “Is this doable?”
The Daily Grind
Though it’s impossible to define all the thoughts and challenges, navigating daily tasks such as organization becomes a mystical idea that only partially comes together. I am constantly in wonder of anyone that keeps track of all of the forms, appointments, hobbies, oh yeah…and there’s the grocery shopping.
Ever leave a full basket of groceries because the walls are closing in???? When my kids were little there were the questions “Why are we leaving Dad?” The looks and perceived judgment from others as the constant chatter in my brain refused to quiet.
Battling all of the challenges of neurodivergence can be daunting alone, however, managing three kiddos makes every day an adventure.
Embracing the Struggle
We didn’t talk about “challenges” in my home growing up. While I always knew things were different, to actually put the words out there was to admit failure. My parents would often shrug off recommendations of therapy or even my requests for counseling with any excuse or reason the moment called for.
Somewhere along the line, however, I found therapy and by opening up to my kids found my greatest allies. As my children grew, we talked about these challenges openly, and they embrace neurodivergence in ways that I could never have imagined! Their unique perspectives have helped me understand myself in ways that the stigma around the alphabet soup never could.
They have helped me give myself grace, and as my youngest tells me “Nothing is perfect unless we see that perfection”.
Being a neurodivergent father is a journey, it’s the greatest adventure. By embracing the adventure, I have learned more from my children on managing neurodivergence, and myself, than I ever thought possible.
Together we embrace the small wins, they support me during the tough moments, and have helped me find grace where there was none. They have given me reason to believe that we can make it over the bumps along the way, and work through the chaos that is the neurodivergent world.
This is a reflection of my personal journey as a Neurodivergent Father, and there are so many other perspectives. I hope mine can add to others and help in some way!
If you are struggling, Please reach out to someone, there are many resources available, and remember, You are Not Alone!
Catch up Soon!
Chris
English